You Know You’re a Yankee When – Jokes #2

You Know You’re a Yankee if –

Your parents kicked you out of the house for being too polite.

You know everything and are offended by people who don’t.

You think Moon Shine is something romantic.

You can get into Canada without a passport.

You’ve never been to a flea market.

You love meat but hate hunters.

You think the Rebel flag is a symbol of racism.

You move out of the city to get away from all the problems only to realize you are the problem.

You’ve said the “F” word in front of your mother.

Your fellow yankees hate you so much you have to move to South Florida.

You think the rest of the country likes you.

You have a 10th grade education and still think you’re smarter than everyone else.

You think food from New Orleans is too spicy.

You think “greens” are part of a golf course.

You can’t whistle “Dixie”.  Heres a hint – Oh I wish I was in the land of cotton …

Pop is not your father.

The letter “R” is missing from your vocabulary unless the word begins with it.

You owe more money on your snowmobile that you do on your car.

You actually enjoy a hockey game and can name 4 teams from memory.

The word Eggplant confuses you enough to make you pull out your biology book.

You’ve shoveled snow in your yard and found a car.

You think Dunkin Donuts are good.

You don’t care who won the civil war.

You order tea and are surprised when it is served ice cold and sweet.

You don’t know who is carved into Stone Mountain.

Your schools don’t close when there is an inch of snow on the ground.

You know what “Lox” is and you still eat it.

You actually eat a fish called “Scrod”.

You don’t know kudzu from kung fu

You enjoy living in filth

The only kind of grass you’ve seen is the kind you smoke.

You prefer Bruce Springsteen to Bocephus.

The thought of eating scrapple doesn’t turn your stomach.

You talk real fast and charm real slow.

You think smog is a sky color.

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