More Philosophy Jokes – Degrees, Majors, Students and Philosophers Volume 2

I apologize, but we have more jokes about philosophy majors.  I know that is it already difficult enough what with having to live with your parents and all but these jokes are just meant to make you laugh at yourself like we do already.  Anyway, here are the jokes.

Philosophy Student 1 – I just read where 40% of Philosophy Graduates have trouble finding a job.
Philosophy Student 2 – Oh, really. How about the other 70%?

Two philosophy students were traveling on a jet from Chicago to San Diego. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announces that they had lost an engine.  He announced that they were not worry since there were three engines left.   It would just take 8 hours to arrive in San Diego instead of 6.

An hour later, the pilot announced that a second engine had failed, but that they still had two left, and it would now take 10 hours to get to San Diego.

Later, the pilot came on the intercom once more and announced that a third engine had died. Don’t worry, he said.  The plane could fly on a single engine.   It would, however, now take 16 hours to get to San Diego.

At this point, one philosophy student turned to the other and said, “I really hope we don’t lose that last engine.  We would be up here forever!”

The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.
The Second Law of Philosophy: They’re both wrong.

Guy – I am in love with a philosophy major but she doesn’t even know that I exist. And whats worse is that I think she can prove it.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Philosophy major.

Philosophy major who?

Well, there are many ways to answer that…

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.


A renowned philosopher was driven from place to place making speeches.  His chauffeur was a quick witted man who carefully listened to every speech his boss made.  He was amazed that people would actually pay to listen to the philosopher.

One day the driver approached the philosopher and said that he could do every bit as good of a job giving speeches and asked if he was willing to switch roles for the evening’s lecture. The philosopher agreed.  During the speech part of the presentation, the driver handled himself remarkably well. When it came time for questions from the guests, a woman in the back asked, “Is the epistemological view of the universe still valid in an existentialist world?”

“That is an extremely simple question,” he responded. “So simple, in fact, that I will let my chauffeur answer it.

A philosopher went into a cave for 5 years to contemplate the question, What is life? When he came out, he met a colleague, who asked him where in the world he had been all those years.
“In a cave,” he replied. “I wanted to know what life really is.”
“And have you found an answer?” said his colleague.
“Yes,” he replied. “I think it can best be expressed by saying that life is like a tunnel.”
“That’s all well and good,” replied the colleague, “but can you be a little more clear? Can you tell me how life is like a tunnel?”
“Oh,” replied the philosopher after some thought, “maybe you’re right; perhaps life is not like a tunnel.”

A philosophy major graduated from college and his family was so proud of him.

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.